Inside and outside of the family business, conflict is a fact of life. Different personalities with competing goals, agendas and backgrounds constantly come together in conflict on a daily basis.

While unresolved or unaddressed conflict is toxic, effective conflict resolution strategies can build closer relationships and help drive progress in your family business.

However, before learning how to resolve conflict effectively in your family business, it might help to first be able to identify what conflict type you are experiencing.

In 1974, Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann introduced the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, better known today as the TKI, which is a popular assessment to measure conflict styles and how they affect group dynamics.

In the TKI, Thomas and Kilmann refer to the following as general conflict styles*:

• Competing, which is an assertive or uncooperative style, where a person will pursue his or her own concerns at the other person’s expense. This particular style of conflict values goals over relationships, and believes that conflicts are resolved only when one person wins and the other loses.
• Accommodatingis unassertive and cooperative, or the complete opposite of competing. This conflict style is characteristic of a person who wishes to appease others, and believes that conflict does more harm than good to relationships.
• Avoiding is unassertive or uncooperative, where the person neither pursues his or her own concerns nor those of the other individual. An avoidance style is one that withdraws from the issue, or sidesteps it rather than physically and psychologically confronting it.
• Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative – the complete opposite of avoiding. Collaborating involves an attempt to work with others to find some solution that fully satisfies their concerns.
• Compromising is moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. The objective is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties.

For a full description of each conflict style, we encourage you to visit Ralph Kilmann’s site by clicking here.

No matter your conflict style, there are a few key points to remember when faced with conflict in business:

1. Conflict Styles are Situational
   What we mean by this is that your response to conflict will depend upon the context of the conflict. For example, at times you may be accommodating, but at other times, you may be competing. The trick to understanding your style of conflict is to recognize what type of reaction you tend toward in conflict situations.
2. Conflict is Healthy
   When resolved effectively, conflict can be very healthy for you both personally and professionally. Not only can conflict help you become more self-aware in your communication with your peers and employees, but it can also help propel your business forward.
3. Conflict Needs to be Respectful
   Above all, conflict in family business should be a respectful practice. Active listening and open communication practices should be used at all times when resolving conflict. If not, then the issue will not be resolved, which could lead to toxic breakdowns between your employees, both family and non-family.

Related Posts:

• 3 Tips to Creating a Code of Conduct For Your Family Business
• What Would You Do? Off the Topic and Out of Control
• Gaining Credibility In The Family Business

*Source: Ralph H. Kilmann and Kenneth W. Thomas’s Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (Mountain View, CA: CPP, Inc. 1974 – 2009). Visit their site here for the full text.

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